Death.............

This came into my mind when Peter, a good friend loses his battle of life to colon cancer.........farewell my friend!

My first brush with death was when my great grandmother passed away when I was maybe 14 years old. Her death did not create any impact to me there for I did not even cry at all. I realised that she actually did not really have much to do with me when I was younger or any closer to me so I was rather confused how to accept or felt she was any lost in my life....sad. When I thought of it now it was indeed a great lost. Her stories and proverbs when she tries to teach you about life and mistake was something you cant buy or exchange with $.

Next was, our sponsor Mr Chew Poh Wah. I never expected I will actually cry on his funeral but when his daughter appear to acknowledge our attendance during his wake....I just cried out like a baby.!!! It must be because she is about my age and I felt for her or maybe he was so generous to William and I? I never expected him to not knowing us well at all ,yet he sponsored our lessons during our first trip to England.

The first death that created an impact on me was the death of my father-in-law. Nicol was born about 7 months. I have know him for about 10 long years. Well, he was nice to me and my husband. He was indeed a lost to the family and all of us and I was too busy to actually learn more from him about his story or anything him for my children. I really cried a lot due to the fact that he was also very warm and nice to me........He was a great lost to us!

Now after many years of going thru all this events of family, friends and all, Buddhisme tought me a lot about birth , life and death............ I accepted it but still not full heartedly about how some of us depart.

Back to Peter again. He wz really a dear friend.....................

he was a ,hihi friends 4 many years but buddy 4 just few years when v develop mutual trust, friendship & thoughts when working & dining together. learned many valuable lessons about people, power ,greed, desires & which direction v shud be focusing... from u...... just too short it ended in a way all regret...... but 2b cherish lifelong. farewell PETER(hong kong).............

Went to the temple of Sau Sing Lum(09/09/09-Wednesday) and donated to the dialysis center and small sum for chanting for the deceased of any kind..........may their soul rest in peace and move on with no regrets, revenge but only good hopes and good heart.............om.................

hihi friends 4 many years but buddy 4 just few years when v develop mutual trust, friendship & thoughts when working & dining together. learned many valuable lessons about people, power ,greed, desires & which direction v shud be focusing from u...... just too short it ended in a way all regret...... but 2b cherish li...felong. farewell PETER(hong kong).............

Dilemma of a trainer...........

It is rather challenging to share ,when you are not ready, being so engross with what you want,feeling so right about it,having a selective mind over what you want hear,it is so right to you and you have decide upon.

It is worst when we know it is not working out.

Be mature with an open mind.

Glad that I don't have much of that problem now...........

Teachers

I have gone through many teachers in my life ....

Some gave me nightmares and the nice ones I tend to take advantage of them being soft.

The best teachers are those who are firm, sensible, give you ultimatum in time to finished your project and draw a map of her work,plans programs and etc for you to work together with her of him!

This type C teachers are the ones that I salute and tend to do very very well under their wings.....

My childhood days.

I can only recall when I was able to be aware of the world around was about 4 years old. My only playmate was my younger brother. He was, all because I was smaller than many around the kampung and there for slow in everything. Despite those handicaps, I still tag along the older children especially my sister, Ah Kin and a so call little uncle,Ah Wu Jai@ Cow Fu Jai. I never gets to play their games but was always being entertained by their games and fights!

Their favourite games were 'Police catch thief'(ping ping joke chak), 'big letter'(tai ji), hop scotch, catching with hop scotch(tiew pai pai),rounders(with stick or tennis ball), high jump, hide and seek, lotus when you will flourish(lean far lean far kei si hoi far), eagle catch small chicks, aeiou bangali love you, spider fighting, cricket fighting,marble,Mosaic,ice-cream stick,rubber band game, collecting cards and gaming starting with one two chose or latalilattampom to chose who go first or team.

When they are tried of their games , they starts to make wheels from can or can lids to race with it, make guns with wood and use a kind of seed and fruit as bullets, making Graham bell telephone and walk with it like heel shoes, kite, lantern, using fallen coconut leaves as transport, five stones using real stones or small hand made bean bag, walking stick and many.

When there is a harvest of rambutan it was real fun and excitement, climbing the jambu tree was fun and very save.

We will be having gotong-royong when someone needs help like digging a well, man-hole, building a house or renovations, cutting grass, gathering woods, or burning sampah was something. The older kids will get paid while the smaller will get to play only. Ha!Ha! Ha!

Many others interesting happening too like the morning markets, when someone is getting married,shifting, new born,funeral, going to school, holidays,Chinese new year, moon cake festival,some one quarrel, someone bought anything new and whew.... will be up date how we all reacted on all issues were fun.

I was born to change everyone's life!

I was born 42 years ago and it change every one's life and expectation.

Girl!
Why not a boy?!
They wanted a boy so much but I am not just a girl but another girl! My great grand mother,grand mother and many relative including my parents, I guess have these words in mouth and mind.

I think it was fated that way even before I was born. I have an older sister about 2 years older than me. Everyone was hoping I was a boy. Maybe my mom knew that she was carrying a (another)girl that why she didn't do much to nourish another baby girl that's was in her. Its nothing new,another girl.This is one of the reason I was born underweight. Boy, boy, boy, boy and boy. When I born, it dash every one's expectation and hope. Its another girl!

Mom has to accept the fact I was born tiny and weak. She has to spoon fed me cos I couldn't suckle, make sure I was staying warm cos i was too tiny, and so on...

Till today mom still do not say a word or describe what happened,fearing that I might turn against everyone or my family but deep in my heart I know the story very well enough.

I hold no revenge or ill feeling on anyone but hope that everyone that wanted a boy so much will learn, change their mind set and accept me.

At least I am proud that I am a girl and do not wish to continue these thoughts about raising girls or another girl is a burden or not profitable!!!

I love who I am and proud of being myself! Cheers!!!

I won and was born a winner..........